Priorities
by Kalira69
Summary: Kakashi has never understood the true meaning of the Eight Gates; he has never wanted to, only seeing the sacrifice that could take another precious person from him.


Written for Rezelis, for a request from an angsty dialogue prompts list.

* * *

Gai skidded to a halt in the first clearing they passed through after leaving the mess of their last battle behind, less gracefully than usual. Kakashi dropped down beside him, looking him over with a sharp, narrow-eyed gaze.

"Kakashi, where?" Gai asked before Kakashi could speak, and he grimaced beneath his mask. He closed his eye and breathed, nose twitching beneath his mask, and threw out a broad sensing net, light enough to be difficult to detect.

Only a few moments of concentration and then. . .

"I have them." Kakashi said, but didn't start running again, either for the slower group that was still not too far from here, or the faster one - perhaps only one or two nin - that was barely within his range - and Gai moved closer, concern on his features.

"Are you all right?" Gai asked, and Kakashi snorted.

"Me?" Kakashi asked, nodding towards Gai. "You pushed hard in the last fight, and repulsing the attack in the village before that," he pointed out, "you've already. . ."

"Kakashi," Gai said, tilting his head slightly, his pose softening, "I'll be all right. We must press on."

Kakashi frowned, not having to look too hard to see the faint tremble of Gai's muscles, the shallow lines of strain - and pain - around his eyes and mouth. He reached out, movements slightly stiffer than they should be - it might not have been obvious to everyone, but Kakashi knew him better than most, and knew _these_ signs better than anyone else alive. Gai's reaction time would be slowed, too, and his strikes weaker. Gai was an exceptional shinobi and those differences might mean little - or they could be the sliver of a chance that counted between life and death. "You've done enough, leave the finish of it to me." Kakashi said.

"You can trust me!" Gai said, smiling earnestly at Kakashi and squeezing his shoulder. "I promise, Kakashi; beloved." His voice softened as he spoke.

Kakashi swallowed, his throat tight, and nodded. "I know I can." He reached up, pulling his mask free and tipping his head to one side. "I can always trust you, Gai." he said with a soft smile of his own.

Gai's shoulders squared a little more and he lifted his jaw. Kakashi's smile twitched with amused fondness.

Then he planted his fist squarely in Gai's solar plexus, releasing a bolt of chakra from his knuckles as the reinforced mesh over them made contact. Gai's eyes widened, his smile faltering, and he coughed as he flew back in an uncontrolled stumble.

No one else could have done it, but Gai hadn't been watching for an attack - not from Kakashi, not so close, not _now_ , not with that soft, unmasked smile. Kakashi felt a nasty, twisting pain in his chest, as though a bladed hook had been sunk into him and wrenched, and tucked his mask neatly back into place as he felt himself going cold and hard.

He moved to Gai, checking to be sure none of his ribs had cracked under the blow and that he was solidly out. Kakashi brushed two fingers over his brow, the closest to an apology he could offer, then hauled Gai up into his arms and leapt into the sheltered outpost in the tree above.

He let Gai slide down to rest on the floor of the small, warded space, leaving him lying there as neatly as he could quickly arrange before flickering out of the tree and onto the hunt, locking down everything but the icy sharpness of the Hound on a scent. He reached into his weapons pouch and nicked his thumb on the edge of one razor-edged kunai, putting his other hand out to push off a tree trunk, then bringing it back in as he ran, forming rapid seals.

Kakashi grinned fiercely as his ninken suddenly surrounded him, their baying echoing through the forest. The Sound nin already knew they were being tracked; now they knew they were being hunted by an entire pack.

The first broke after less than a mile, turning and letting out a challenging cry as he held a blade at the ready. Some of the pack split off to circle him as the others continued to harry and chase; Kakashi let out a fierce snarl as he dove from the branches to his prey.

The Sound nin stumbled back, eyes wide, and Bull growled, lunging to seize his shoulder. The Sound nin yelled in pain but lashed out at Bull, then dragged his shoulder free enough - ignoring the spurt of his own blood as Bull's fangs ripped into his flesh - to form seals. Kakashi didn't let him complete more than the first jutsu, which proved a vain gamble that Kakashi couldn't handle a wind release harsh with vibrations meant to shatter metal and bone.

Letting his body stay loose rather than bracing for it, Kakashi who had fought with his body trembling from lightning still zinging through his chakra pathways didn't even twitch as the wave of vibration struck him. He took the nin's throat with his second swipe of a kunai, and left him dead and bleeding into the dirt, his ninken flowing around him as he fell back into a run.

The next three were not so simple, and Kakashi pulled his hitai-ate up to reveal his Sharingan after a few exchanges, feeling the spike of pain as it began draining heavily at his chakra. It was a calculated risk - Kakashi would have to run still after this battle was done; the most important target was likely the one running fastest and farthest, and Kakashi would have to catch him and fight again.

There was no one else spare from the village to send after them, Kakashi was on his own now. He squinted against the pain of the Sharingan for a moment, then dismissed it along with everything else that would distract from the mission.

* * *

Gai felt like he'd taken a bolt of lightning to the chest. He coughed weakly, rolling over and grabbing at the boards beneath his body as his brain scrambled to try and find the memory of why he felt like this.

The only thing he could remember was-

Being sent after enemy nin after the attack - the _theft_ \- inside Konoha, and a quick, hard fight - he had opened several Gates - and then tracking after the rest of the enemy. . .

Gai set his jaw as he pushed himself up, muscles screaming in protest.

Tracking alongside Kakashi, fighting alongside his Eternal Rival, pushing down the pain of continuing to run and fight - to _move_ \- after throwing open the first five Gates. . .

Gai managed to get up to his knees, feeling the heated pulse of torn muscles struggling to answer to his will.

Kakashi, telling him to stop, to leave the end of the hunt to Kakashi alone. Being shocked and prepared to argue fiercely that he would not. It would not be the first time he had to open Gates again sooner than his father's training would once have suggested possible.

Gai frowned. He remembered nothing beyond Kakashi; denying Kakashi's concern for him and then promising his Beloved Rival he would survive to return from this mission, Kakashi softening, coming closer-

 _Kakashi._

Gai slumped back to the floor, shocked. Kakashi had been the one to strike him, to leave him lying- He looked around. A warded Konoha outpost. Of course.

Anger flashed through Gai, then twisted sickeningly with fear. He had not been the only one to push himself hard in the initial fight - and Kakashi had continued on the hunt alone, and no way of telling how long ago that had _been_.

Gai rose, pushing against the boards with one hand, and leapt from the tree, ready to give chase, praying that Kakashi was all right, that he hadn't been unconscious for too long, that-

Gai stopped, turning. Kakashi was crumpled at the base of the tree he had just jumped from, his blues and flak jacket splattered with blood - some of it clearly his own - and one of his thin shoulders angled oddly beneath his uniform blues. There was what looked like a newly-sealed scroll, heavily smeared with blood, tucked under his wrist.

"Kakashi!" Gai said, moving towards his Rival, extending a hand. Kakashi did not move - did not react at all - and his heart twisted in his chest. Gai went to one knee, reaching out and carefully avoiding what looked like a badly broken collarbone to rest his hand on low on Kakashi's neck.

He was alive, but his pulse was weak and he was clammy.

Gai was no medic nin, and Kakashi might need more than field medicine anyway. A brief check for any hidden wounds and none of his injuries looked like they would have lost him enough blood to be this weak, which left poison, jutsu, or chakra exhaustion. The last was the most likely, and a state Gai had seen him in far too often.

Ignoring the screaming pain of his own body, Gai pulled Kakashi gently into his arms - tucking the sealing scroll safely in his own vest - and started running back for Konoha.

* * *

Kakashi was awake and looking much better than when last Gai had seen him. Gai sighed quietly, resting his back against the doorframe for a moment before moving closer to the bed.

"How are you, my Rival?" Gai asked, trying to keep his voice even and also not too loud.

Kakashi looked up, though Gai was under no illusions that Kakashi hadn't known he was there before he'd even opened the door to the hospital room. "Fine." Kakashi said, his eye roaming over Gai with at least as much concerned, careful attention to detail as Gai had bent on him. "I only needed to rest."

"It hasn't been enough yet." Gai said, more than half sure it was true.

Kakashi's eye narrowed, and he shrugged his thin shoulders - stiffly; the broken bone may have been tended, but it wasn't completely healed yet. "I don't need more watching, or tending. I can rest better at home than here." Or anywhere, Gai suspected, better than here, really - more likely in a tree somewhere around Konoha's training grounds or the Academy than in his bed in his tiny apartment. Unless he found his way to Gai's bed.

Gai had given up asking Kakashi why he hadn't moved to an apartment he found more comfortable. There was never an answer - not a real one, only his playful deflections - and Kakashi never seemed to so much as consider a change from the apartment he had first moved into when he left the Hatake compound.

"You?" Kakashi asked, with a lazy shift, brow arching.

Gai swallowed, jaw tightening. "I, too, only needed rest. I was less injured than you, as well, my love." he said with a small gesture at himself. Kakashi nodded, though the bored look he wore did nothing to fool Gai, who knew him too well. "Kakashi."

"Gai." Kakashi lifted his jaw, eye narrowing again.

"You disabled me." Gai grated out. "In the field, on a _mission_ , you _purposely disabled me_ to keep me from a battle - from backing you up."

Kakashi's expression didn't so much as twitch. "I chose the only method I deemed feasible to keep you out of the battle." he said, and Gai felt a roaring rush of fury backed by childhood doubts and the weight of bitter words he had laboured under for years.

" _Why._ " Gai demanded, his voice low and hard.

"You had thrown open the gates and then fought another battle - outnumbered, against jounin-level enemies. We were tracking _more_." Kakashi said, measured and almost calm - if you didn't know how to read his face. The little of it he showed. "You would have tested yourself too far or-"

"You drive yourself to the ends of endurance often, Kakashi." Gai said harshly, because he had too many times seen Kakashi weak, drained and chalky pale, feeling to a simple chakra-flare as though he was dead, almost no chakra left in his own body. "We all do; we are shinobi."

"Not when there's another option!" Kakashi shouted suddenly, and Gai fell back half a step, shocked. Kakashi rarely raised his voice even when he was angry or distressed. "I push myself to the limit only when I _have_ to; your main fallback is in its final extent a _guaranteed suicide gambit_!"

"I know how you feel about the Gates, Kakashi," Gai said, more gently than once he would have been able to, even for Kakashi, "I-"

"I know you do." Kakashi snapped, throwing aside the blankets over him and putting his feet on the floor. Gai was relatively certain he was not supposed to be getting out of bed so soon, but then, nor was he himself. Kakashi yanked off his hospital-issued mask. "You don't care and I don't expect it to change anything, but _you_ can't expect me to watch you ready to burn out your _life_ when it might not be necessary."

Gai opened his mouth, then closed it as Kakashi pinned him with a hard look. Kakashi had never _understood_ the technique of the Gates, at its heart, though certainly he knew how they worked, was capable of opening at least the first few gates himself.

Kakashi shed the loose hospital clothing as well, and Gai frowned slightly, taking in the splashes of bruised and bloody colour dotting Kakashi's skin. He pulled on a spare uniform, leaving the legs of the pants unbound and neatly smoothing the cowled neck of his shirt up to mask his face the way it always did.

"I would not spend it lightly," Gai said, as he had tried to explain to his Beloved Rival before, "but the freedom of knowing it will be my _choice_ , and to spend my life protecting that which is precious to me . . . to know with my life, my choice, I will have bought the safety of something precious . . . it would be worth that cost to me."

"Choice." Kakashi ground out, then spun to face Gai fully, his one visible eye blazing as though lightning might spark from him at any moment, though Gai could feel he was too weak for it. " _Choice!_ " he snapped again, louder. Not that Kakashi had not called up lightning when near death from lack of chakra in the past. . .

Kakashi's eye closed off, going cold and distant, a colour like mist rather than stormy skies, and Gai frowned at the sight. "There is no choice I would take from you; from anyone I-" Kakashi's voice faltered, and Gai's frustration was lanced by affection and worry; he knew what Kakashi faltered over. "None but _that one_. I have seen _too many people_ make that . . . choice." he spat bitterly.

Gai felt as though a splinter of ice had lodged in his chest. He knew what Kakashi referred to, and knew it better than reports or graven characters on the memorial stone could convey - he knew it with the painful certainty of one who had been there to see Kakashi wake screaming in the dark. Or worse, in silence, his own eye gone slate-grey and dead.

"It is still _my choice_ , Kakashi. Unless you are my captain," Gai said, anger fizzing through his veins, "it is not your right to take it from me."

"We were assigned too quickly to be given ranking for the mission." Kakashi said, too frazzled to ignore the point. "And we work together too well," he added, and Gai closed his eyes for a moment, because it was _true_ , "there were no concerns."

"You overstepped." Gai said clearly. "For a _personal_ -"

"And you're alive to shout at me for it." Kakashi said, his gaze snapping to Gai's again. There was something painful in it and Gai was still angry, and he still needed Kakashi to understand that what he had done- But something in Kakashi's look made Gai think horrifyingly that Kakashi _had_ understood, had chosen to do what he had thinking. . .

Thinking what?

"If you _are_ done shouting at me, however," Kakashi said, sliding his vest on and leaving it open, tucking the bandages for his legs into his pockets instead, "I believe I am supposed to be resting." He gave Gai an insincere smile. It didn't falter. Of course it didn't - Kakashi was a shinobi. "If you feel the need to continue this, I'm certain you can yell some more later." he added, and then slipped out the window.

"Kakashi." Gai had not had trouble catching up with Kakashi in years, and it didn't strain him to do it now, even though his healing muscles still ached. He caught Kakashi's elbow, not trying to stop him but falling in at his side and keeping contact, keeping Kakashi from slipping away from him. "You needn't slink off alone."

Kakashi looked around at Gai just out of the corner of his eye, bristling.

Gai had always been the one to give way and soften for Kakashi; he was brittle and, though Gai would never say it . . . fragile, in some ways. "Come home with me, my love." he invited softly, words firm enough to be easier for Kakashi to follow than deny.

Kakashi hesitated, glancing around them and then meeting Gai's gaze more squarely. "I thought you were angry with me." he said, in a flat, laconic tone. The faintest tremor of his mouth under his mask reassured Gai that Kakashi had expected his anger, understood it. That was . . . something, at least.

Gai squeezed Kakashi's arm, then released his hold on it and wrapped his arms around Kakashi. "I am. You took away a choice that was mine to make, and you risked your life without any backup when it wasn't necessary." Gai said, then shook his head slightly, rushing on. "But Kakashi, my love, that . . . I may be angry, but my anger changes nothing between us. I still love you, I still wish you to be with me." He rubbed his knuckles up and down at the small of Kakashi's back.

Kakashi shuddered a little in his arms, not returning the embrace. Gai hadn't expected him to do so - not here, on the street. No one would bat an eye at Gai flinging his arms around Kakashi - or much of anyone else, likely - no matter where, and he was content enough to let that be the case.

"To save your life I would do it again." Kakashi said, body stiff, as though he expected that to change anything Gai had said. Gai kissed his cheek, the nearest bit of bare skin.

"I will forgive you that, too." Gai said simply, because even if he was angry, he _would_. He would forgive Kakashi almost anything, if he must. "And one day that choice _will_ be made - we are shinobi, my love. How many of us do not die in battle?" he asked, and Kakashi closed his eye, sighing. "Until that day parts us, on either side, I would be with you."

Kakashi nuzzled Gai's cheek, body language softening, and a painful tightness in his chest Gai had barely realised was there uncoiled. One that had been nestled just beneath the lingering ache of Kakashi's blow the day before.

"I'm not so foolish as to let myself be driven from you if you'll still have me." Kakashi said softly, opening his mouth and biting Gai's jaw lightly through the fabric of his mask.

Gai smiled and rested their brows together. "Always, my love." he promised. "Will you come home with me, then?" he asked.

Kakashi nodded, once, and when Gai released him, stayed at his side as he headed towards his home. At the door Kakashi slid ahead of him with companionable presumptuousness, leaving Gai to follow him inside. Kakashi was already heading for the bedroom at the back of the apartment, and Gai locked the door before joining him.

Stripping off vest and shirt, leaving himself unmasked, Kakashi curled up in the centre of Gai's bed as though boneless. He watched Gai divest himself of everything down to his undergarments, then stretched languidly as Gai climbed into bed, shifting to lie against his chest.

There was still the chill certainty that made a precise understanding of where they clashed between them, but . . . they were shinobi, and they loved each other too much to give each other up when they knew that loss could instead be forced on them at any moment.

Gai kissed Kakashi's temple, folding his arms up around Kakashi and feeling the dull throb of his harsh blow just under his forearm, resting across Gai's breastbone.

* * *

The prompt line was, of course, 'you can trust me'.


End file.
